• Coach Mel

It’s Okay To Cry...


It’s okay to cry.

Let me say that again...


It IS okay to cry. 😢

It’s actually NECESSARY for your emotional well-being and healing.


With that said ... let me ask you a few questions.


When was the last time you cried?

Do you tend to hide your emotions?

Do you see crying as a weakness?


I used to hide my emotions/feelings and sometimes still do—if I am being completely honest with you. But I've gotten so much better at expressing how I feel—not only with others, but also with MYSELF. I have realized more and more over the past few year’s that it does not serve me well to avoid how I really feel about things. It actually hinders and prohibits me from growing, truly healing, and from getting what I want or need by not expressing my feelings.


Just last week I realized after a session with my holistic practitioner (a.k.a, "my guy" who I have been working with for more than 5 years now) that I am often embarrassed to cry in front of others—he being included. In our last session he had asked me a question about how I really felt about something that was bothering me, and why I felt that way about it. Immediately the answer came to me and I felt incredibly sad about it. I felt a huge wave of emotion come over me and I knew I was about to cry. He said, "Oooo, there it is! What's that about? What came up?" I literally couldn’t speak. Because I knew if I did, I would cry. So, even though I knew what the answer was to his questions ... and I knew that expressing it would actually help me to heal and move past this issue, I still found myself fighting those thoughts with everything in my power—all because I didn’t want to cry. I was subconsciously trying to do everything and anything to avoid crying in front of him, including racking my brain to find another answer quick! I was totally willing to disregard my own feelings to spare myself the "embarrassment" of crying in front of him.


Luckily for me, he didn’t let me avoid what I was feeling (FYI, he never does). With a little extra prodding and patience on his part, I ended up vocalizing what it was that I was actually feeling ... and, yup ... as we all suspected, I cried. And guess what!? I lived to tell you about it! OMG, right?!


Expressing these feelings and emotions helped me heal and helped me feel better about this issue I was dealing with. You know, the one I actually went in to the session for to try and fix and then tried to desperately run away from! Going through the process, and believe it or not, letting myself FEEL the truth actually changed my views on some big things, things even greater than this one particular issue. If I hadn't allowed myself to do this, I wouldn't have ever been able to let go of some of my own false beliefs or feel those emotions fully. Thus in return, I would have been stuck exactly where I was—where I already knew I didn’t want to be. So, I was grateful—and proud of myself—for taking that little leap of faith to expose my emotions like that to him, and I ended up leaving the session feeling so much lighter and happier.


It wasn’t until later that night that I realized what I was doing during the beginning of the session. How I was desperately trying to avoid my feelings to spare myself from the "embarrassment of crying" in front of him. And, when it dawned on me what I had tried to do, it actually made me angry. Angry with myself and society. I asked myself why was I embarrassed to cry in front of him? And, then I asked myself, why am I reluctant to cry in front of anyone for that matter? Why is it okay for me to laugh in front of others, but not to cry? Both are emotions expressed out of an emotional response to something. Why is one viewed as positive and one negative in my eyes? Why does society teach us that crying is weak? It’s not weak at all! I'm sure not everyone believes this, or feels the same way, but I also know that I am not alone here and a lot of people do. Whether consciously, or subconsciously.


What I realized after that session was that being able to express my emotions actually shows that I am strong, not weak. It shows one of the very wonderful and unique things that makes us all human. And we should embrace it, not fight it.


Just like seeking help when you need it (with and for anything ... big or small ... it doesn't matter) is a sign of strength, not weakness. We must take care of ourselves fully. Physically, mentally, emotionally...it all matters. It may not always be “pretty” or “easy,” but it is oh so necessary.


So next time you feel like crying, go ahead and cry. It’s absolutely okay to do so. And, if someone gives you crap about it, know that isn’t a you issue, it’s a them issue. Don't feel embarrassed about it, be proud that you are able to express your emotions freely. And, if someone cries in front of you, let them know it’s okay and just lend an ear. Have no judgement. That too helps us grow and heal, and in turn, it will naturally help them too.


So, remember...crying IS okay.


#loveyourself #emotionallyspeaking #cry #healing #itsoktocry #findyourbalance #selflove

Melissa Stankovich

Nutrition & Fitness Coach

melissa@fit4youcoaching.net

518-470-2747

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© 2019 by Melissa Stankovich

Melissa Stankovich is not a doctor nor a registered dietician. Melissa Stankovich will not provide medical advice. Melissa’s coaching services are intended to inspire you to instill lifelong healthy eating and exercise habits. She’ll teach you to navigate the grocery store, how to cook incredible meals, ways to fit more exercise into your busy life, what to reach for to satisfy cravings, and how to balance it all to live your best life. Simply stated, you understand that I am a nutrition and fitness coaching professional offering motivational and educational services. I cannot be held liable for any advice, suggestions, recommendations, or guidance that I provide during our work together.